Basic Driving Survival Rules Whilst in Uganda

First of all, you MUST learn this phrase:
OLI MULALU? ( Repeat it as many times as necessary)
English translation: Are you crazy?

As you may or may not know, Uganda is not the safest place to drive. In fact , its probably the most dangerous place in which to drive. There are no "traffic rules". As they say in Pirates of the Caribbean, "they're more like Guidelines then actual rules". Theres not even any traffic signals. Do you have to have a license to drive there? I don't know for sure, but judging from my experiences... PROBABLY NOT.

So here are some basic tips to help you to not die.

Headlight Morse Code
In Uganda people regularly flash their headlights to communicate with other drivers.

_ _ = "Hi. I'm coming towards you"
_____ = " Watch out"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (etc) = You WILL die unless you move
__ _ __ = "Thank you"

Things to do to occupy yourself in a Jam
Jams occur regularly and unless properly prepared you will go mental. Heres what you can do:
1. Count the number of stalls on the road
2. Buy a newspaper from the sales boy walking through the traffic
3. Count how many times someone shouts MUZUNGO at you
4. Converse with people in the vehicle to your right or left, they are only a foot away after all, you might as well get to know them.

I hope these tips have proved useful or at least humorous in some way. We tried to find the humor in things so as not to think about how easily we could die. :)
More later!

The Characters

We will be mentioning various people in this blog. To not confuse the public you may come to this from time to time to know whom we are speakin gof.

Deb and Crystal: The main characters - US
Mama Deb: Our host mother in Kampala
Peter, Paul, James, Angela: Mama Debs children, our "siblings"
Sam and Ashe: Our drivers/body guards
Mama Rose: The head "Mama" at Nsambia Babies Home, does not speak any english
James: Our contact in Uganda, helps us plan our trip and facilitates housing and vehicles. He is the nicest guy ever with great kids and a beautiful wife.
Mr. Kasule: The orphanage director for Nsambia Babies Home
Caroline: Our friend from England who has also accompanied us to Uganda

Mukwano - Its Various Meanings

The main dialect they speak in Uganda is called Luganda. In this language there is a word - Mukwano. Now, when we came to Uganda we were not, shall I say, "experts" in the language. We innocently asked what the word for friend was. They told us it was "mukwano". Our "friends" Sam and Ashe were our drivers/bodyguards on our trip in 2004. It was very kind of them. To better assimilate into the culture we tried to speak the language as often as we could. Meaning we would call them mukwano, our friend. All of a sudden the boys started acting very funny, and shall I say, a little TOO friendly. As we told this to Mama Deb, our host mother, she stared laughing hysterically.
APPARENTLY no one had the decency to tell us of the various meanings of the word mukwano. So we are about to tell you.
Not only does it simply mean FRIEND, but it also can mean, VERY DEAR FRIEND, BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND, or LOVED ONE.
Yeah, basically we were leading them on the whole time. At the end, they thought we were practically engaged. But that is for another post.

Moral of the story: Either stick to English, or get a proper translation before using foreign words in every day speach.
Thats it for now.